Kissing Kunoichi
by Erena G.T. Rose
Summary: How the kunoichi of Konoha unwind and relax...Welcome to the party...No boys allowed. Mild yuri...Oneshot.


**_Hello peeps. Hehehe._**

_**Okay then. This is some-what a crack fic...done a bit at a time over a period of six days...at no earlier then midnight. ((yawn)) Tired-ness, peeps. This is something I did, just on the drop of a dime...the idea came into my head with vague images...mostly, the only clear thing was the title...and the fact that it would be dedicated soley ((even though it doesn't quite measure up to par)) to my Demon.**_

**_So here it is...A LITTLE IMPLIED YURI...and it's MILD. Nothing major, I swear. It's mostly my attempt at comedy._**

**_So here we go...hopefully you enjoy..._**

* * *

"**Kissing Kunoichi" by: erena g.t. rose**

_Dedicated completely to my muse, Demon._

The hidden village of Konoha wasn't particularly famous for its selection of bars and taverns; alas, if one could find a single decent establishment that still _allowed_ shinobi in (on account of the tendency to start fights) then you were _extremely_ lucky.

Godaime-Hokage, Tsunade, was not a particularly social drinker; she preferred solitude, sake, quiet, shochu, a soft bed, and more sake to combat her hang-over in the morning. However, as a woman and a shinobi, the current leader of Konoha felt it was her obligation to see after the particular needs of her kunoichi…and when her girls needed a place to unwind and relax after missions…well---Hokage Tower was _her_ residence, after all. The top three floors went on reserve…and any male within the premises of the tower was sent to a different post.

Tsunade-sama, kami-knew, _was_, if not a social drunk, then a very violent one.

And taking care of her girls was exactly how the weekly Thursday "meditation" sessions began. The girls showed up, the girls locked all doors and windows…and proceeded to drink the night away, while meditating on subjects of serious and dire import.

"Personally, I think Naruto is secretly having orgies…with himself!" Tenten flung this comment out into the center of the circle and rocked back, giggling as the others hemmed a bit and laughed.

"Eh, I haven't heard anything of the kind…but Sakura-chan…I'm sure she's been _all over it._" Ino's toothy grin was more then annoying right then…Sakura, wielding an empty shochu bottle in one hand, glared threateningly.

"Oh, yea, Piggy-girl…because I'm _always_ chasing after _Naruto_…I'm practically a whore for the boy, aren't I?" The words weren't dripping with sarcasm…they were _drenched_ in it. The pink-head bobbed a little in serious contemplation, "The only one here who chases after Naruto's ass more then I do is Hinata-chan."

The pale-eyed heiress emitted a noise that sounded suspiciously like "eep!" and blushed deeply; however, shochu and sake made the normally reserved Hyuuga more open then she might have otherwise been. Her sweater was off and she somehow mustered the strength of will to level her intense eyes at Sakura and say, "Fuck you, senpai."

Sakura nodded as if this were a compliment, "With Naruto in the middle."

The other girls rolled with laughter; Tenten was holding her side while simultaneously trying to down a shot of sake. It ended up with her sliding sideways in a drunken loll, sake saucer held aloft to keep it from spilling. Her head landed in Shizune's lap; the Hokage's assistant smiled down at the fellow brunette with easy grace and glassy eyes; Shizune had no tolerance for alcohol and Tsunade had been steadily spiking her grape juice all evening.

For a few moments there was steady laughter, more due to the extreme levels of intoxication then anything else…gradually, the giggles slowed down and then faded nearly completely, leaving only a still-hemming Sakura chuckling quietly at her own joke.

Tsunade, seated at the high side of the circle, offered a half-empty bottle of sake to the purple-haired woman on her left; holding her dango laden stick in one hand, Anko accepted it and poured a fairly large amount into the saucer sitting on the floor before her.

Nirama, the dark featured sister of one of Konoha's most infamous nin's was examining the labeling on her own bottle of shochu through narrowed eyes; Nirama, everyone had learned early on, was an anti-social drunk, but like her brother, tolerated individuals with easy smiles and more alcohol. Generally, she said very little and laughed very often.

But at the current moment, she was squinting at the label…and then she looked up at Anko, still squinting. "Anko-chan, why do you always bring so much food?" She eyed the half-eaten dango-stick in the other's hand as well as the bento box sitting on the floor beside her. "Is it because you get the munchies?"

Anko shook her head a little unevenly, bobbing this way and that, "Nope, nope…NOPEY Nirama-chan!" She giggled a little, "Nope…I eat because I'm hungry…and because they say drinking on a full stomach makes you less intoxicated."

Shizune, still bearing a laughing Tenten half in her lap, leaned closer to Hinata, "Don't think it did her much good, ne?"

Hinata snorted, choked and then coughed, putting down her own saucer of shochu; Shizune smiled lazily and patted Tenten's hair.

Hinata continued to cough, blushing until Nirama reached over and patted the girl firmly on the back. With one final cough, the heiress laughed a little weakly, "I do not think I'm a graceful drinker, Nirama-chan."

Nirama waved a hand out, laughing, to encompass the entire group, "I hope you haven't gotten the impression that _any_ of us are…not even Kurenai-san."

The red-eyed women narrowed her eyes, "Be careful Nirama-san…I know where you live." This was accompanied by the purposeful jingle of some shuriken in the weapons pouch to her side.

Nirama chuckled, cocked her head and smiled slightly, "Yea, yea…big talk, senpai…I'll sic my brother on you."

Kurenai shivered a little, cradling an empty, discarded bottle (one of the many) to her chest. "You will _not_ be telling Itachi-san anything…he likes blood too much."

"Yea, and he eats babies too."

Anko snorted and laughed; Kurenai glared, "Well, good thing I'm not pregnant huh?!"

Nirama cocked an eyebrow, "Not yet, anyway."

Kurenai continued to glare at the Uchiha, "Don't go making random predictions like that missy! I'm not married, I'm don't accept one-nighters and I _don't_ have a boyfriend."

The entire circle erupted into laughter, this time more open…a reoccurring joke. Tenten actually raised her head up out of Shizune's lap, forced a "bullshit" over her laughter and took another shot of sake before plopping back down into her former position. Shizune finger-combed the other girl's hair and bangs, seeming to enjoy it with an absent, drunken sort of fascination.

Ino rolled her eyes and jabbed Kurenai in the ribs with an elbow, "Hmm, yea…we _totally_ believe you when you Asuma was only _resting_ at your apartment…every day…for the past…oh, ten—oops, eleven months."

Kurenai mumbled something like, "nosy little snots" before taking a rather large gulp of her sake.

Anko, however, crossed her arms and glared down at the floor boards, "Ugh Kurenai…I don't know _what you see in him!_" She sounded slightly miffed.

Kurenai shrugged with one shoulder, "He's just my lover…no need to read too much into it." But that's not how it sounded.

Tsunade latched on, "AHA! So you _admit_ that he's your lover!" She turned to Sakura, "I told you she'd say it eventually." She held out a hand that swayed slightly, "Pay up, girly."

Sakura made a distressed but comical face as she put her saucer down to pat her pockets; then a look of real distress moved over her face as she realized… "Aw, shishou! I blew all my money on the drinks for tonight!"

Tsunade, ever the consummate kind-woman she was, nodded sagely, "You _did_ chip in quite a bit this time…hmmm." She hemmed and hawed a little before she nodded again, her head bobbing unevenly, "Very well, you can pay me in another way…no cash required…_I promise_…" The words slurred a little on the end as Tsunade's eyes focused on Sakura's form.

"Ooh, shishou?"

"Hmm, yes…and I believe—Shizune, didn't Ino-chan bet with us too?"

The brunette looked up from playing with Tenten's hair, gaze a little unfocused, "Yes, Tsunade-sama, she did. Double the amount of Sakura-chan's wager."

Tsunade smiled at Ino and Sakura, "You have to _love_ Shizune…she gives such _great_ head_—I mean_—has a good head for numbers."

Ino glared, "Oh yea, I'm _sure_ that's what you meant to say…" She glared first at the Hokage and then at Sakura, "So how do we pay her, forehead-girl?"

Drunken sparks of fire flared between the girls as the silent curses flew back and forth; finally Sakura cleared her throat, raising her chin, "We will just have to work it off, I suppose—in Hokage Tower, during down-time."

"Aww, man." Ino glared at the floorboards, "I can't do it during down-time! I have a life ya know, unlike you Sakura!"

The pink-haired kunoichi glared, "Fuck you, Ino!"

"Fuck you, Sakura!"

"Or you could fuck each other, and I'll watch."

Both girls abruptly snapped the full amount of the drunken attention to the Hokage who was sitting there, cross-legged and leaning back a bit on her hands. Her blonde hair was hanging back over one shoulder and her robes gaped a little too widely, granting enticing views of her …assets. Both the blonde and the rosette haired girls tried to ignore that.

Sakura found her focus first, "Shishou?" It seemed all she could force out was one word.

Ino's eyes were a little wide, darting back and forth, reluctantly it seemed, between the Hokage's eyes and her cleavage.

Tsunade gave an easy, languid smile; "You two go at it, and I'll watch…you could pay me that way…or…" She licked her lips a little, shrugging one shoulder in a calculatedly nonchalant way, "…We _could_ just go for the more…_hands-on_ approach."

There was a serious, heavy silence for a bit while the two girls appeared to think over the Hokage's words; Sakura had a silly smile on her face and didn't seem to mind the idea of sleeping with her mentor—her eyes trailed over Tsunade's nearly-revealed bust with interest.

Ino's eyes were the size of saucers… "You're …you're _serious_, Godaime-sama!"

Tsunade smiled, "Ah, now you're getting to it." She flipped her pony-tailed hair once, smiling. "Ino—don't be such a prude…" She beckoned to the girl, "Come on, enjoy yourself for a while."

Sakura was already chuckling and struggling to stand up, "I'm in Tsunade-sama…" She smiled widely, cheeky and slightly off-kilter, "I certainly can't be owing you money…you'll just chase me around and _demand_ I repay you…" Looking a little like a shark, her toothy grin gleamed, "…Like you did…_that_ _last time._"

Tsunade smiled, stood and slung an arm around her pink-haired student.

Ino looked around the circle, looking uncharacteristically unsure.

Shizune nodded, "Hai…you don't want Tsunade-sama chasing after you, Ino-san…she is _very persistent._" The brunette blushed and looked down.

Tenten, lying in the woman's lap, sat up slightly on her elbows to glare at the Hokage, "Have you been hitting on _my Shizune-koi?_"

Tsunade shrugged, "I didn't see _your_ name anywhere on her…" The Hokage suddenly cocked an eyebrow, "However, if she'd just follow me, I could do a more…_thorough_ investigation."

Tenten's eye twitched and she fumbled for one of the many, ever-present kunai in her belt loops; Shizune stilled her by scratching behind her ear and the younger woman dissolved into a furry of little growls. Tsunade nodded at her quick-thinking assistant.

Ino, however, still didn't look swayed by the easy, open sexual banter of the group; she was eyeing the distant bedroom down the hall with a certain sort of run-first-apologize-later expression.

Sakura smiled, "Ino-chan, come…"

Tsunade beckoned, "I assure you…you'll enjoy the…meditation." She gave a toothy grin of her own.

Ino blinked, looking down.

A hand latched onto the girls ankle and the blonde looked down in startled surprise, her reflexes not as quick as they should have been.

Anko was reaching around from the other side of Kurenai, glaring up into the glassy-gaze of her younger friend. "Ino-chan, don't be foolish." She sighed, "At least someone should get to try something new this evening…" She cut her eyes a little to look at Kurenai, seemingly at random… "Ino…experience things…do it all…whenever possible." For some reason, Anko suddenly seemed much more sober then the rest of them.

Solemn silence greeted this statement as Ino stared down into Anko's intense eyes; finally, the blonde nodded, and with shaky, not quite straight steps, made her way to Tsunade's side. The Hokage grinned, threw her free arm around her shoulder and led both her girls down the hall. The sliding shoji door echoed loudly as it hit the frame and closed soundly.

For a moment, there was not a sound and then Nirama laughed, "I thought you were going to start preaching the great morals and advantages of lesbianism, Anko-chan."

Anko shrugged, her narrowed eyes on the floor, "I was venting, I s'pose." Her words didn't slur at all, and her gaze had seemed so clear; Nirama wondered if the woman had somehow spiraled from a jubilant drunk, to a melancholy one.

Kurenai, beside Anko, rolled her eyes, "Venting over what, I wonder?" She tapped the side of her saucer with a delicate finger, "Venting…experimentation…and let's not forget experiencing things." Her words were glassy, like her eyes…sounding clear and crystalline. "Anko-chan, are you feeling a little…_lonely_?"

The purple haired kunoichi mumbled something nearly inaudible but what sounded like, _"You know damned well…_"

Kurenai smiled, "Well, perhaps if you weren't always set on the unattainable you wouldn't have this problem…" She rolled her eyes, "Orochimaru, Kakashi…and then Genma, of all men!" She took a shot of sake to wet her tongue, "You pick the tough nuts and then complain when they crack you instead."

Anko glared, "Ooh? And how about you, _Kurenai_? You pick the dangerous men…Kakashi, Ibiki…and Asuma." She dug her nails into the wooden floorboards, "What do you say to that, _Kurenai-koi_?"

Hinata glanced up at Nirama to whisper, "Koi?"

Nirama nodded, "Hai…Kurenai-san and Anko-chan had a small fling once…when they were chuunin." The Uchiha shook her head, sipping some shochu slowly, "It did not end well."

Hinata's white-eyes widened slightly, "Oh…" She trailed off, surprised.

Kurenai glared at the two girls, "Gossips."

Nirama stuck her tongue out and crinkled her eyes.

Anko, impatient and suddenly full of blazing indignation, grabbed hold of Kurenai's shoulder and forced the woman to look at her; they were of similar age and height, but it was obvious that Anko was more aggressive and that Kurenai didn't take well to being forced into anything.

Shrugging off Anko's grip, she cursed, "Anko-_san_…there is _nothing_ between us. Nothing." She tried to slide further out of the circle, moving more into the open space left by Ino's departure.

Growling, Anko grabbed her ankle, "Don't move away from me, Kurenai." She leaned forward, "I'll just come after you."

If she'd been sober, Kurenai _might_ have recognized and reacted appropriately to Anko's threat; inebriated as she was, she only laughed, "Oh, please, Anko…don't even--" She was cut off as Anko leaned further forward suddenly and wrapped a hand around the genjutsu-expert's nape before pulling her in roughly.

Lips met, clashed and Kurenai gasped; Anko took the opening that she presented. Tongues dueled and Kurenai made a strangled sort of moan in the back of her throat. Anko's eyes fluttered open, and then suddenly she pulled back to glare at the red-eyed woman.

"That was totally your fault."

Kurenai, opening her eyes, returned the expression, "My fault?" She flipped her hair a little, "How is it my fault that _you_ kissed _me?_"

"Tempation…you tempted me."

Red-eyes widened a little, "That's a lame excuse, Anko." But unconsciously, Kurenai had raised two finger tips to her lips and was caressing them softly.

Hinata watched with avid attention.

Anko crossed her arms and looked away, "I'm going to give you your space Kurenai…you don't want me around…fine." She scooted more toward Tsunade's empty space and steadfastly refused to look anywhere but at the distant wall.

Nirama blinked, "Oh come now, Anko-san! Don't be that way!..." Her words had no effect on the purple haired nin, so instead, Nirama gazed into the crimson peepers of the other kunoichi in play. "Kurenai-san…you are so mean! You should apologize to Anko!...For earlier, at least!"

Hinata, uncharacteristically, threw in her two cents, "And you could um…" she trailed off, obviously still very shy, even though she was drunker than most of the circle's inhabitants. "Um—you could…go to bed…and um…sleep it off---together?" She sounded unsure of how it came out.

Nirama clapped the Hyuuga heiress on the shoulder and smiled, sipping her sake with her other hand, "Very good idea, Hinata-chan." Looking over her shoulder, Nirama spotted an open shoji door, leading to a guest bedroom across from the Hokage's. It was _supposed_ to be Shizune's room, normally…tonight, it was not.

Not if Uchiha Nirama had anything to say in the matter.

With a careful smile, Nirama gestured to Kurenai, "Ah, _senpai_, why don't you and Anko-chan go into the little room and discuss the past…" She coughed, "It would be…private."

Something in the way she said the word had Anko looking back at first her, then Kurenai. Both kunoichi in question stared at the girl in puzzlement, but then Kurenai seemed to hear something and blushed scarlet. It was then that the moaning became distinguishable…loud, persistent…in a sort of rhythm. Loud, amorous moans were spilling outward from Tsunade's quarters…and then more thumping…and a _very loud_ chorus of "Oh, Kami---YES!"

Hinata blushed, Kurenai made a small, intrigued hum and the other circle-sitters remained steadfastly silent, smiling into the thin air. Everyone could guess what was happening in that room…and they found it…

Completely sexy.

Kurenai cast a look of appraisal over Anko before she glanced back down the hall. Rising on unsteady feet and crossing to the hall with swaying steps, Kurenai paused at the door to the room, "Hm, Anko-chan?"

Eyes narrowed, lips parted in sudden excitement; Anko was up and over there before anyone could blink properly. With a nod, Kurenai went inside; Anko, however, stopped, winked at the rest of the room with a cocky smirk and whispered, "Be good!"

Hinata smiled, _Always._

Nirama thought, _Never._

When that door shut as well, there was more silence in the room. Tenten was dozing off a little, what with Shizune finger-combing her hair in a soothing way.

Nirama coughed, "Oh come now! We can't let there circle die out! More questions…more, more…_more!"_ She took a deep shot of her sake.

Hinata blushed, poke her fingers together and then seemed to realize that she was doing it…with a whimsical half-smile to herself, she picked up a half empty bottle of shochu and gulped a large amount.

_Ah, liquid courage._

"Umm, so…" Hinata stammered a little, a combination of her natural shyness and the alcohol. "Do—do you think that..hmm…the Kazekage…I mean—Gaara-kun…what do you think he does—does during those hours when he cannot find rest?"

Tenten blinked, staring at her friend with bleary eyes, "What kinda question is that?"

Hinata blushed crimson, shook her head and looked down, "Forget it…Tenten-chan."

Tenten was a pitbull. "No-no-no. Tell me." She sat up half-way, leaning back on her elbows, "You wanna know what we think Gaara does when he can't sleep?"

Silence.

Tenten rolled her eyes, "Ugh, Hinata-chan…you should learn to be more blunt." She sighed then looked upward thoughtfully. "Hmm, Neji-san says that he say Gaara once, building sandcastles…but I don't believe him." She made a face, "Lee said the same thing, only stopping to add that he was whistling "Mr. Sandman" under his breath." She shook her head slightly, "I _really_ don't believe that."

Nirama laughed, "I don't know…Gaara…the Sandman…" she giggled in a decidedly undignified manner… "It could happen."

Tenten cocked an eyebrow.

Hinata coughed, "But he must do other things…he cannot build sandcastles all the time."

It was Tenten's turn to laugh… "Ah, so sweet, innocent Hinata-chan delves into the midnight world of male masturbation!"

"EEp." Hinata ducked her head, her hair falling around her, but her ears peeked out…and they were a brilliant scarlet. Apparently the word "masturbation" was a bit beyond the girl's sensibilities.

Tenten snickered.

Shizune hummed, "I believe it would be most difficult to do what you are implying Tenten-chan." Of the entire lot, Shizune was probably the most sober…having consumed only a bottle or two. Still …she was having some trouble enunciating her words correctly.

"Well of course it's difficult, Shizune-senpai…but sand-control? Sand that can make hands? Hands that can stroke, tease and torment until Gaara's all explodey on the inside?" Tenten shook her head, "You can't tell me that Gaara doesn't masturbate."

Shizune shrugged, "Maybe he doesn't masturbate with sand…maybe he does it by hand…and reads porn…" She hummed, "Maybe he and Kakashi-senpai read the same series."

Another "eep" escaped Hinata as she imagined that Copy-nin and infamous Kazekage trading books and cooing in a very un-shinobi like way over the racey portraits therein.

A second series of moans joined the low, persistent banging coming from the Hokage's chamber…_Anko and Kurenai…already?_

Nirama smiled, "Hmm, I could see them both reading Icha Icha…I wonder though…" She blinked, "I wonder if Panda-chan has ever tried anything like what's in those books."

Shizune laughed, "Probably still a virgin, Nirama-san."

Tenten sat up, "Do what? Who's a virgin."

Nirama laughed—clearly Tenten missed the first part of the conversation in her drunken loll…but out of the corner of her eye, she caught Hinata looking up, face redder than before…and there was a nervous expression as she pushed her fingers together…_poke, poke._

Tenten's eyes widened fractionally, "You're a virgin, Hinata-chan?!" She gasped, "I thought…Neji-san…Didn't he…?" She trailed off, never finishing her sentence. Hinata was blushing deeply and refusing to meet anyone's gaze.

Nirama put a hand on her shoulder , "There's nothing wrong with virginity, Hinata-chan." Slightly off-focus obsidian eyes glared into Tenten's glassy gaze. "Nothing at all."

Hinata cleared her throat, "I fear we've all consumed much more then the usual levels of moderate intemperance, Nirama-chan."

_Blink._ "Say that again?"

The Hyuuga sighed, "We've all consumed--" She was rudely cut off as Tenten huffed indignantly, "In other words we're not just drunk bitches…we're soaked and trashed." She settled down into Shizune's lap once more.

Nirama glared again at the bon-bon-haired kunoichi, "Thank you, loud-mouth." She waved it off…hmmm… "It's getting late, Tenten—Shizune-chan." …Pretending to care, Nirama looked down at her watch, "We should get going…to bed that is."

Shizune blinked then smiled, accepting Nirama's suggestion; the brunette's gaze moved over Tenten with a possessive sort of satisfaction.

Tenten, however, growled, "I'm not going nowhere, til I make sure there's no more shochu left—or maybe some sake…I'm thirsty."

"Did you try…water?" Hinata said dryly, eyeing Tenten with sudden annoyance.

_Glare, glare._ Tenten rolled her eyes as she reached over and picked up a selection of bottles; shochu and sake—but they were all empty, drained completely. No saucers held any liquid anymore…Tenten was cut off for the night…done.

With a heavy sigh and a drunken glare toward Nirama and Hinata, Tenten attempted to crawl away from Shizune and stand up; she swayed of course, but the brunette was there to catch her. There was a sort of shared smile for a moment…and then Tenten was glaring down the hall way… "Fine, party's over…We're outta booze." She glared. "Damn, we're never gonna get any sleep with this racket."

The moans were louder from the second room…the first room was echoing with the sounds of small screams and banging headboards.

Shizune ducked her head, then looked up again, looking suddenly predatory. "Well Tenten-chan…the only way to drown out the noise…" She took her "friend" by the arm, "…is to make some of our own."

Tenten was silent, but her lips switched upward a little and she cocked an eyebrow.

Without another word to the pair of remaining kunoichi, the weapons mistress and medic retired to a staff room, closing and locking the door behind them.

And so it was down to two. Two out of nine…what rotten luck. Nirama was eyeing the hall way, observing all the close doors and trying to block out the highly stimulating sounds spilling from the rooms.

Hinata was blushing and looking uncertain. She didn't really know Nirama _that_ well.

To break the (relative) conversational silence, the Uchiha spoke, "Soo…long night, huh?" Even to herself, the question sounded…awkward.

Hinata nodded, swaying a little. "Tenten-san presses my nerves often…even when I'm not this…" She fumbled for a word, "…eh…what did she call it? …Smashed?"

_Laughter._ "Don't try to speak slang, Hinata-chan…it doesn't suit you." Still laughing, Nirama glanced down the hall, checking to make sure all the doors were closed. "Hmm, it was real good that we ran out of alcohol, huh? Or else, Tenten might never have left."

Hinata glanced down, "Yea…good timing, I guess."

Nirama hummed an affirmative, checked down the hallway again…and let the conversational silence settle in again.

It was a minute or two before she spoke, "So…you still…thirsty?"

Hinata's gaze narrowed, "We're out of shochu and sake, Nirama-chan."

With a smile, Nirama reached under her large cloak and drew out two bottles of shochu, one in each hand… "My pockets weren't empty."

Hinata laughed a little, drunk and delightfully surprised. She reached under her sweater and withdrew two bottle of sake… "And we aren't thirsty anymore!"

The girls laughed and laughed, rolling a little—their eyes watered and their lungs burned. Finally, when they couldn't keep it up anymore, they settled down on the floor, laughing small giggles while they caught their breath. Lying side by side, they clutched their respective bottles to their chests.

Hinata coughed, still giggling, "Soo…Nirama-chan…where do we sleep?"

The Uchiha shrugged, shoulders shaking, "I guess here is fine…but how is the question." She eyed Hinata carefully and then smiled, "Non-sexually, of course."

Hinata smiled, "Of course." Then she glanced at the bottle Nirama was holding and her smile widened, "I think, perhaps, the only way to escape the noise would be…to make sure we are no where near the conscious level."

"So you wanna drink til we pass out?"

Hinata nodded.

"Sounds like an awesome plan to me."

They got up on shaky feet and traveled around the room, pushing garbage, snack wrappers and empty bottles out of the way; Hinata turned out the over-head light and Nirama opened the blinds, to let the moonlight shine in. They pulled a spare blanket out from under the Hokage's desk and some pillows too…(wonder how those got there?)…and settled down in a corner with their bottles.

Popping the seal on her first canister of shochu, Nirama smiled, "Bottoms up, Hinata-chan."

Hinata raised a sake taste, "To the finest kunoichi women in Konoha." She smiled, "Debachuary, Drinking and Damn-Good liquor!"

Nirama laughed, "Kami bless!" And both girls chugged their liquids down.

When the first bottles were empty, they opened the second ones, raising another toast.

Hinata went first, her words slurring considerably more then before, "To—to the men of Konoha-ha."

Nirama's head bobbed a little, "May—may they n-never-r know what they're mi-sss-ing-g!"

They chugged again.

And when all four bottles were empty, and both girls were slumped into their pillows, groaning—Nirama whispered, "We're gonna have _huge_ hangovers in the morning."

Hinata sighed, eyes drifting shut, "Not as much as the others, love…I put tequila in the sake!"

They fell asleep, laughing at the others' misfortune.

((NEXT MORNING))

Tsunade, Sakura and Ino groaned, coming awake all at once as Tsunade shifted, Ino lurched and Sakura yawned loudly. Student and Teacher opened their eyes blearily, looked at one another and smiled…and BOOM!

Ino cursed loudly as she slipped off the bed to land on the floor… "Shit…I can't move…my legs…son of a bitch." She moaned, laying on the floor, "Hangovers suck."

Just as Tsunade and Sakura were nodding their agreement, shrieks of pain and fury cut through them; screams and curses coming from the other rooms. Tsunade made to get up out of bed and instead slumped to the floor, her legs unused to supporting her weight. "Fuck."

Sakura sat in bed, searching for a spare kunai under the pillow…she wrapped her hand around cold steel…

More shrieks drifted to them and Ino tensed, "That sounded like Anko-senpai." A series of shouted curses and death threats followed.

Tsunade nodded, "That it was."

Sakura blinked once.

Footsteps approached quickly from down the hall; all three nude women watched the door with trepidation.

Sakura's hand gripped the cool steel harder.

The door was flung open and in tumbled a half-asleep Kurenai, covering her eyes as Anko yanked her by the arm into the room; they were both nude, wrapped only in a short bed sheets. Behind them came Tenten and Shizune, just plain nude, clutching their weapons pouches but brandishing no offense. They just ran into the room after the other kunoichi, yelping and ducking for cover behind pieces of furniture.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tsunade questioned loudly, trying to be heard over Anko's continuous cursing and Tenten's weapons jingling.

Shizune spun on her heel, peeking out from behind a wing-chair. "Tsunade-sama, run! Run before they--" but her plea was suddenly pointless.

Two dark streaks slipped into the room, raced to the wide, bay window and yanked the drape cords hard; the heavy black-out curtains slid apart with astonishing speed and in spilled—

…"LIGHT!!!" Tsunade cursed, yelped and ducked back under the covers in a very un-Hokage-like way. Ino scrambled and somehow climbed back up into the bed. Both blondes covered their eyes.

Shielding her eyes with one hand, Sakura's other was under the pillow, holding fast to her surprise weapon. She hoped one kunai would be enough to fend off or scare those two fiendish friends…

…For lo' an' behold…it was none-other than Hinata and Nirama standing there at either end of the window, looking only marginally run down and smiling like the damn life-sucking vampires they were.

"PULL THOSE CURTAINS SHUT! THAT'S AN ORDER!" Tsunade shouted, but the Uchiha and Hyuuga only smiled vaguely…

"Nirama…Hinata…" Sakura kept her voice calm…level. She was still shielding her eyes but… "I have a weapon here…my kunai…and I will NOT hesitate to use it if you don't close those curtains…_now._"

Ino mumbled her encouragement from under the pillow.

Nirama smiled, "Oi? Really? Then go ahead, Sakura-chan…take your best shot…not that you didn't take enough of them last night."

Hinata giggled absurdly.

Sakura glared… "Fine then!" She whipped her hand out from under her pillow, drawing the smooth steel weapon out from its hiding place, ready to do battle when—

…the two criminals went into hysterical fits of laughter, giggling and clutching their sides.

Sakura looked down at her "weapon"…and felt her stomach sink and her cheeks burst into crimson. Twelve inches long, chilly silver-steel and built to accommodate a mate at both ends. The dildo was huge, cold but not at all deadly. Damn.

"Ooh, yea…Sakura…that's a weapon alright…I think we get your…_point._" Hehehehe.

Sakura's eyes closed and she sank down against her pillows, "I give up."

Ino mumbled something that sounded like, "Baka" but Sakura suddenly lurched and smothered her with her own pillow.

Tsunade glared as she too sank down into her bed, "A masterful strategy girls, really." She was glaring through squinted eyes. "You got us all in one place."

Hinata nodded, "That was Nirama-chan's idea."

"I figured." Eh, Tsunade was tired. She closed her eyes completely, "Now what are you gonna do with us?"

Hinata laughed, "Now we're gonna leave you here!...The Kissing Kunoichi…all of you…locked up for a day."

"And that accomplishes what?"

Nirama shrugged, "Have you ever heard of…orgies?"

The Godaime blanched, blushed and then coughed quietly.

Nirama laughed, "I thought so."

Both Hinata and the Uchiha girl turned to go, but Anko called out, "Wait! You haven't closed the curtains yet."

Hinata laughed, "And we're not going to…it's punishment."

Tsunade's eyes opened slightly, "And what did we do to deserve this?"

Nirama smiled and giggled a little, "Honestly…nothing…but next time…REMEMBER TO TAKE CHASERS!!!" She laughed loudly and slipped out the door, blowing the kunoichis a kiss.

Hinata smiled as well, "Perhaps now, Hokage-sama, you will promote me to ANBU INTERROGATIONS." She too blew them a kiss and spun out of the room with a smile.

Tsunade and the others heard the lock click into place but dared not open their eyes to glare.

Damn hangovers.

Tsunade cursed, rolled over and buried her head under a pillow, "Fuck them, Fuck Chasers and Fuck this…GOODNIGHT!"

The others groaned, but steady and surely, they each made their way to the large king-sized bed, crawled in, naked and all and collapsed in one huge heap of bodies…

…snoozing, snoring sounds rocked Hokage Tower.

((EPILOGUE))

"Now imagine my surprise, Imoru-san, when I entered the Tower this morning to make my final reports to Godaime-sama!"

The two ANBU officers were speaking in hushed tones in the shadows of HQ. They didn't know each other very well…but…Domu was excited and absolutely had to tell _someone_. Imoru was just happened to be there ever so conveniently.

Imoru waved an impatient hand, eyes darting around. "Tell me, Tell me."

The other officer looked around for any eavesdroppers and then continued on in an excited rush. "They were all naked, Imoru! Naked as the day they were born and all of them—kami, I swear—All of them, lying all on one another…naked, sexy…beautiful!" He shook his head, hands moving expressively, "Imoru, it was…arousing."

Imoru shivered, "Don't use that word in front of me…" The other officer noted a vague, unmanly blush rising over his cohort's cheeks.

He ignored it. Instead Domu sighed deeply… "What have we been missing…?"

Imoru put on his mask again; carefully concealed behind the cover of it, he smiled widely, with extra toothy-ness… "Only the Kissing Kunoichi, senpai."

The other officer jumped a moment, "That's it! We'll call it the Kissing Kunoichi Incident!" He mumbled something or other, "I love it!" He then quieted down, "But Imoru, you musn't tell a soul…it's…it's Godaime-sama…her reputation and all that." He shivered, "And the others, as well." He looked around, "I wouldn't want any of those women on my tail."

Imoru, waved a hand, "Go on to your mission, Domu-san, I'm not going to say a word."

Domu nodded, slipped into his own mask once more and stepped out of the shadow of HQ. "Remember, Imoru—It's _our_ secret."

Again, Imoru waved a hand, "Of course."

Domu streaked off into the distance, moving away to some unknown destination.

Imoru stayed still for a moment and then looked around…

Down the street, several dozen yards from him, was his mirror him…Imoru, walking down the street in ANBU uniform but without his mask.

The Imoru standing in the shadows shrugged and dropped the henge. Silky black hair spilled around the girl's face and her white eyes danced behind the cover of the mask. With a silent laugh, Hinata walked away. Gossips were dreadfully easy, anxious messengers…always having to tell at least ONE person.

_Smirk…_

_Mission Accomplished._

((THE END))

* * *

**_So what did you think? Tell me please? Lol._**

**_All reviews are appreciated...hmm...I suppose I can take mild flames...but I'm fragile...beware._**

**_Thanks either way._**

**_-erena g.t. rose_**

**_((All my love to Demon))_**


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